A Safety Log is one of the most powerful tools you can have. In court, “he said/she said” arguments are common, but a detailed, chronological log of events is much harder for an abuser to dispute. It provides the “burden of proof” needed for a judge to make a final Protection Order or restrict contact in a Parenting Order.
Safety Log Template
You can keep this in a hidden notebook or, more safely, in a locked note on your phone or a draft email that only you can access.
| Date & Time | What Happened? (The Facts) | How did it make you feel? | Evidence/Witnesses |
| e.g., 23/01/26 4pm | Sent 15 texts after I told him not to contact me. Threatened to come to my work. | Scared, shaking, couldn’t focus on my job. Fearful for my safety. | Screenshots taken. Coworker (Jane) saw me upset. |
Best Practices for Your Log
- Be Objective: Focus on exactly what was said and done. Use quotes where possible (e.g., “He said, ‘You’ll regret leaving me’”).
- Log “Micro-Breaches”: Even if it seems small (like an “accidental” drive-by of your house or a “like” on an old photo), log it. It shows a pattern of behavior and an intent to intimidate.
- The “Impact” Column: This is crucial for psychological abuse cases. Describe the physical symptoms of your fear (nausea, heart racing, inability to sleep) to show the harm being caused.
- Safe Storage: If you use a physical notebook, hide it somewhere the abuser would never look (like inside a tampon box or at a friend’s house). If using a phone, ensure your “Cloud” or “Photo Stream” isn’t shared with the abuser.
What Counts as Evidence?
Keep a digital folder (or a physical one at a safe location) containing:
- Screenshots: Of every text, call log, or social media interaction.
- Photos: Of injuries (take them from multiple angles and next to a coin for scale), broken property, or suspicious vehicles.
- Recording: In New Zealand, it is generally legal to record a conversation you are a part of. If he is yelling or threatening you, and it is safe to do so, start a voice recording on your phone.
- Police Event Numbers: Every time you call 111 or visit a station, ask for the “Event Number” and write it in your log.
Staying Safe and Sane 